Positive & Negative Emotions

Emotions are biologically encoded responses that occur before "feelings" arise in the body. They are a more general category of reactions that nearly all humans experience and were developed for our survival. Emotions and feelings are not the same. Feelings are produced by one's relationship and perception of emotions, often causing one to label emotions as "good" or "bad" or as wanted and unwanted. In actuality, there are two categories of emotions -- positive and negative -- and neither are inherently good nor bad. 

Positive emotions 

These include emotions such as joy, gratitude, interest, hope, awe, altruism, satisfaction, confidence, surprise, happiness, optimism, and love. Positive emotions are more than the quick, external pleasures we "chase" in pursuit of happiness. We must learn to internally cultivate these emotions, and consistently practice them in our lives to improve our well-being. They help set the foundations for our capacity to survive, find meaning, and connect more deeply with ourselves and others. 

Negative Emotions 

These include emotions such as anger, annoyance, jealousy, envy, fear, anxiety, sadness, shame, guilt, apathy, and despair. Although these emotions are labeled as "negative", they are as beneficial to our quality of life as positive emotions -- that is if we use them appropriately. Nobody wants to feel fear more than love, but fear can be a powerful teacher (like love) if we choose to see fear as an old wound in need of tending rather than an enemy to fight or run away from.

Why and How We Need to Manage Them

Three new understandings are helpful to learn to better manage our emotions. The first new understanding is to forget the old belief that positive emotions are inherently good and negative emotions are inherently bad. With this false mentality, we often fall into the "happiness trap" where we run away from or suppress our negative emotions to "chase" more positive ones in external things. Positive and negative emotions should be treated as neutral, and they are equally useful tools for our survival and well-being. The second new understanding is that we are not victims of our emotions. Most of us were erroneously taught that we cannot control our emotions, thus making our emotions begin to control us, heightening our susceptibility to high psychological and physiological stress and lowering our quality of life. When we do learn that we can, in fact, manage emotions, we must reframe our feelings (perception) towards emotions to feelings that are more accurate with reality (such as your anxiety is trying to help, not hurt you). The third new understanding is that emotions are physiological cycles that require us to take certain steps to transfer them into positive tools of growth. Emotions are felt in the body, therefore cannot be "thought" away by our minds. Steps to complete emotion cycles include being aware of, and labeling, the emotions through practicing mindfulness, talk therapy, practicing CBT or EMDR, crying, and doing physical and creative exercises you enjoy, such as yoga, running, dancing, painting, journaling, playing a musical instrument, etc.